HELP: LIGHTWORKER GONE DARK [1]

LIGHTWORKER GONE DARK

How is this possible?

 

I have been awake, fully awake and conscious, since January 25, 2012. I have been studying, remembering, meditating, networking, exploring, and, most, lightening up.

 

And here I am in the dark.

 

I had a traumatic experience a week ago, and I am still experiencing the fear which raged through my reality like a frightful tsunami. I feel its diminishing waves brushing the peace I have come to know.

 

Yesterday, in an effort to find peace, I went to my guru who gave me a conscious reading, and then assisted me through deep hypnosis. For the first time in my life, I had a meaningful past life regression. I explored aspects of myself I did not know existed. I saw myself in four lives, each with quite discrete and simple lessons which were learned, experiences accumulated.

 

This us versus them feeling which now rocks me when I consider the police state we live in, that anger and terror I feel, well, I now know where that comes from. The all-or-nothing, do-or-die approach in the face of tyranny comes from a very specific set of circumstances.

 

I released all I could, bless and release, bless and release, bless and release. But there is residual. And this residual is causing me suffering.

 

I know I am divinely guided. I know that God will make a way where there is no way. But for the last week, my physical reality has intruded on my peace in ways I do not like.

 

I know I have spent these last 8 months on physical reality hiatus. And rightfully so. No one can overcome the grid without unplugging from it first.

 

Having to plug back into the extremely controlling and fear-based collective consciousness is nothing I want to do. I want to be over here, creating joy and freedom> I do not want to be there, wading through the limitations smaller minds and hearts have placed on us all.

 

This sense I have that the end is coming, that things will get much weirder before they get calm,, I think this is just more training. I can't lose my sh*t now, over these relatively little things, when there may be far bigger disruptions and much grander acting out by the mutants coming our way.

 

How do I make community, and make peace, with monkeys who want nothing more than to control my behavior to satisfy their need for conformity and order? How do I remain creatively engaged in a reality which does not want me to pay too close attention to its machinations? How do I make peace with friends, family, co workers, who are so embroiled in their own pain that all they seem to be able to do is pass judgment?

 

You see now, I am a light worker who has temporarily gone dark. I know I am believing lies and giving into fear.

 

I need encouragement and words of hope. Can you help me???