Forgive Me Lord [1]

As the tears run down my face, I write this truthful post, for, this is one of the things I NEED to talk about, that I could'nt.

 

I met a real angel of satan. This person presented himself to me as an angel of God.

The day I met M-I-S-T-E-R, I knew my life would be totally different, but I did not know how.

 

I rented an apartment in a part of my city that was known to be awful, but, survial was something I learned at 3 years old. It was affordable and I was MEAN, so, I assumed it would be alright for a lil while.

 

Satan clothed as one of God's angels, at first, seemed to be concerned for his "children" as he would call us.  Within two or three weeks, the truth would come out.

 

I quickly was granted a position of Office Manager in his crime organization which was supposed to be a helping situation.  For you see, this PASTOR was also a drug dealer, whoremonger (married with children), he had a liquior house, a whore house and anything that was a form of destruction to humanity. Remember, this man was a PASTOR. 

 

There was a sirvuellance camera in the office, I could see everything moving on the "plantation" I called it. We even had a overseer, whom if you got out of line, he would kick you butt.

 

This was no ordinary situation. The police sargeant in that part of town was in this; the man who actually owned the property, members of the gospel group whom he was a member, his wife and anyone else whom wanted a part of the action.

 

Fear of this so called "powerful person" was the most important weapon he used against me. For some reason, I find FAVOR with most men. No, I was surely not a love machine for this devil, I quickly learned too much about him and thats NOT sexy. I learned early for survival reasons that procrastination was as powerful as action.

I was a master munipulator.

 

This man throught he was Nino Brown of New Jack City. If you lived in those apartments and did not contribute to the negativity, you had major problems okay. There was a couple living there, he was blind and she walked with a walker, and that so in so took thier meter from the light behavior cause she said she was going to tell the police what he was doing. This was in the winter.  Fear of him kept us in check. I was his homie so I seen lots of violence from this person towards those who "got out of line." He even threatened me with violence, thats when I really became afraid. 

 

This man was on powered cocaine and a sure alcoholic, and would get us all in the office and try to  SAVE OUR SOULS before he passed out his daily  crack ration around. He was totally in control if you had some type of problem. TOTALLY.

 

He took total care of me. I had the best apartment, he payed all my bills and gave me all the drugs I wanted in exchange for loyality to him and him only. If I was not in line to get me drug ration  for the day (mines was big cause I brought him more money than anyone else), he'd send for me or find me himself. I truely wished at times I had a rock to climb under. MONEY was easy for me to attract, I had smooth words and so called good looks to attract the men. If there was alot of men on the plantation, he would come get me to "go get that money!". I remember making him 600 dollars one day (if the drug dealers payed thier taxes, they could sell drugs on his plantation, and most residents sold or used or both) and when I told him I was hungry (I was so small by this time it was awful), and he took one of his girlfriends to get food and tried to give me the leftovers. That was the day I realized my life was not gonna last longer if I stayed on the plantation.

 

There was a train that ran behind the apartments and one night while sitting on the porch, I wanted to jump on that train like a run away slave. It was a very gut wrenching feeling. I felt that he had told me so many secrets, he would hurt me if I tried to leave. He even brought me a cellphone to keep up with me. If I went somewhere and he noticed me gone, he would come and get me. I WAS A REAL LIVE BONEFIED SLAVE IN 2006. How did this happen???

 

Everyone on the plantation loved me as best they knew how. Even though we were in a bad situation, we banded together. We feed each other, cried together, talked about running away together. I sware by the sun this is all true.

 

I moved to another apartment when I became as he termed "sassy and non complient", it was the worst apartment. I did not even have any water at this place. I was being punished.

 

The people across the hall wanted to be free from this madness, and not paying the rent was one way to get evicted for sure. The day they was leaving, the gentlemen (whom I  called daddy, never had one) said to me as I watched them fill up the truck and wanted to go so bad, "you gonna stay and be his slave or do you wanna be free again???" I quickly jumpd in the truck and TOOK MY FREEDOM BACK. Nageeta got away, yes, Nageeta got away.

 

It's very painful to wrote this, but, I must. There may be others going thru simular situations and they need to know that they can be free from this type of behavior; I AM VALIDATION THAT THIS FREEDOM IS THIERS..

 

We have to make sure that we support our sisters and brothers in addiction, there may be situations like this transpiring, its more common than you imagine.

 

I ask God/Goddess to forgive me, I truely realize my part in this and thats one of my reasons for making A HEART FELT DESIRE to be a blessing instead of a curse to mankind. I worked 24 7 for negativity and did a good job too;  NOW, I DESIRE TO DO A GREATER JOB FOR GOD/GODDESS.

 

Even though it was a self inflicted wound, I did not loose my gifts. I did not feel as if I deserved them after all this, but, God/Goddess made sure that I knew better.

 

YES, NAGEETAH ISRAEL ARIT NZINGA GOT AWAY.

 

I am writing a book about this. And, the more I write this truth, the more I begin to realize that, yes, I did wrong, but, grace and mercy is helping me to do right.

 

"Forgive me Lord, for I have sinned."

 

Love Nageeta