LOL. We’ve all heard it stands for “Laugh Out Loud,” but on a deeper level it means “Live Our Light.” 

What does that mean? 
It means quit taking things so seriously! 

We stress about things that don’t matter and don’t serve us, and ignore the things we could be grateful for. Even some of my yoga friends get so serious about their practice and meditation that I often wonder if they are missing the point! Sometimes the deeply spiritual thing to do is to Laugh Out Loud and Live our Light. 

For example, yesterday I went for a run and dropped my uncased iPhone on the street. I smiled. In the past, a litany of swear words would have come out of my mouth.

V-day can feel like D-Day.

The day is, in my opinion, slightly ridiculous. But probably not for the reasons you think. I have no problem with the cheesy commercialized crap. I like cinnamon hearts and I even miss making those old-school valentines out of construction papers and doilies.

The ridiculousness is my expectations. When I’m single, I beat myself up for not being with someone. And when I’m with someone, I hold him to impossibly high standards. Is it too much to ask that my boyfriend give me a puppy with an engagement ring around his collar all while singing a song that he’s written especially for me?!

Yup, my boyfriend is screwed.

It’s not like I actually want another dog. I’m certainly not ready to get engaged. And I’m betting that he’s tone-deaf (based on the fact that I’ve never heard him sing).

So if I’m not actually interested in any of those things, why do I want them so much? Where are these crazy expectations coming from?

At one time or another, we all of feel stuck. We’re in one place and we’d like to be in another. Whether that place is a different career, a different partner, or simply in a warmer climate, we all fantasize about the possibilities of what life could like if only things were different.

For the majority, that dream is where it ends.

For a smaller group, that dream makes them more unhappy about their current state.

For an even smaller group, that dream is what fuels them to create change.

So what makes some of us wallow while others take action?

It isn’t about time management, fears, or an IV drip of coffee. It’s about reframing how you look at it.  Here’s the simple, key difference:

When we are pissed that things don’t look the way we want, we tend to focus on “why.”

Have you ever met someone who was emotionally constipated? They run from feelings faster than the time it takes me to down my morning coffee (that’s fast, trust me!) These people unconsciously use self-protection to limit themselves, their growth, and their happiness.

I get it.

Sometimes feelings feel shitty.

And I, like most of us, tend to avoid the less pleasant ones.

There are times when I’d rather not feel bored so I incessantly scroll through my Facebook Newsfeed. But that desire to avoid the full range of human emotion is like buying a thermometer that doesn't read cold temperatures because I can't stand the cold. And that's a problem because whether or not I’m in temperature denial, I’ll still need a coat when I go outside.

Here’s the thing we often forget:

Hello, my name is Amita and I am a worrier. A compound worrier to be exact. The kind of worrier who spirals and over thinks myself into a fat, messy, what-the-fuck-am-I-doing-with-my-life type haze. I worry about small things, I worry about big things, but mostly I worry about things that are beyond my control. This catastrophic thinking is my brain’s way of ensuring that nothing takes me by surprise. While this may have been an advantage back in the day when we were running from saber-tooth tigers, nowadays worrying creates more problems than it actually solves.

When people say “don’t worry,” I want to smack them across their smug little faces. How about being a bit more helpful? Instead of telling me what not to do, why not give me a solution, or, at the very least, an alternative coping mechanism that doesn’t involve eating Trader Joe’s brand chocolate and watching Netflix.

There are plenty of techniques to minimize worrying, but the heart of the problem is that we have problems we need to solve. And while I meditate and wait to receive guidance, I also get out my notebook and tackle things head on. So let’s get to problem solving, shall we?