What a crazy life I lead right now. There’s so much happening and so much to write about and at the same time I’m tied to the ground by the need for confidentiality. My orders in serving are at one and the same time transparency and confidentiality.

How I’m going to handle this is to be transparent about confidentiality – tell you what I’ve learned from my short sojourn among Earth allies fighting for … well, I can’t talk about it.

What a Catch 22. But I’m up for it if you’re up for it.

People observe confidentiality for numerous reasons. Their life or the life of another may be at stake. The success of a vital project may be at issue. The successful outcome of a war, constitutional rights, freedom, livelihoods, any number of matters might induce a person to agree to be confidential. And that is for lightworkers.

Darkworkers will have their own reasons for observing confidentiality and they could in many cases be the exact opposite of the lightworkers’ reasons – they may want to kill, harm and enslave. They want to debilitate, disable, and destroy. Of that I don’t wish to speak. I’m only interested in lightworkers. They’re the only ones who have a future where we’re going, so to speak.

The need to observe confidentiality skews conversations, deprives one of the benefits of transparency (joy, squeaky-cleanness, lightness of being, etc.), makes it essential that colleagues trust each other, makes it important that people grant the benefit of the doubt or withhold disbelief, raises the value of trust and trustworthiness, etc.

I’ve been asked to assist in matters relating to … I can’t talk about it … and now here I am. Good things happen, bad things happen and I can’t talk about either of them. And I really can’t. A lot rides on not doing that.

And look at this. I on the one hand make a statement a few days back and at that time everything looks one way. But a few days later, the bad guys do something and the picture changes. But I can’t talk about it. So you operate on the basis of what I said a few days back and I cannot even correct the impression you have.

You on the other hand proceed according to the implicit promise (or what you may have seen as a promise) in what I said a few days back. But the situation has now changed. How are you to know what’s going on? I look like a person who violated his promise. I look underhanded and devious. And the fact that I won’t talk about it for sure marks me as a bad guy. And I can’t help by enlightening you – the very thing that would erase that mistaken impression.

In any group there’ll always be people who’ll play one of a group’s usual roles. There’ll always be a leader, a skeptic, a joker, a crusader, a spiritual adviser, a financial adviser, etc. For every mood of a group, someone will offer themselves to play that role.

So the skeptic in the group expresses doubt and I can’t talk about it. The crusader takes me on and defines the battlelines and I can’t defend myself. The joker makes me look silly because I appear not to have delivered on my perceived promise and I can’t do anything about it. And the public stands behind them applauding and saying “Down with X.” “He’s sold out to the Illuminati.” And … well, you got it, right?

Take a person who’s used to transparency and put them in a confidential position and not only does their whole life change but the lives of everyone in their circle of friends and family may change or the confidential one may have to leave and lose that circle.

This puts stresses on everyone and brawls may occur. The people looking at the confidential one wonder if that person is someone they can trust if they can’t even manage their own circle. Look at them. Their friends are leaving them. They’ve walked away from their circle. And they won’t talk about it. How can you trust such a person?

No one factors in the very stresses and strains that a need to be confidential puts on people.

I’m trying to remember a single Presidential couple who’ve emerged from their tenure still together. Factoring out those who served darkness, because their fate is their own concern, I’m not aware of many who’ve taken upon themselves the extreme need for confidentiality that a President might face and have survived as a couple.

I was going to say Eleanor and Franklin Roosevelt, but, as far as I know, Franklin had a paramour and I’m not sure that he and Eleanor lived together. I’m not sure if their marriage could be said to have survived or not.

The need for confidentiality skews things and places pressures on everyone concerned, including those who say “I never signed on for this.”

Certainly the need for confidentiality separates the highly-intentioned and the highly-committed from those who, for whatever reason (I’m not saying it’s bad necessarily; perhaps just different commitments to very good things), are less so. It exerts tremendous pressure on people and sometimes can result in the erosion of health, an inability to do the job, etc. So even the person who’s agreed to be confidential can fail and be judged a failure by society and even history.  The Boss would not judge that person a failure, but society would.

I’m beginning to see what the Earth allies have to go through. They battle with the dark, sometimes winning, sometimes losing (in the short run), and they can’t talk about it.

What reward is there for a person to want to join an effort that requires confidentiality?

In my case, since I was a teenager, I’ve wanted to serve God. AAM has told me some of the reasons for all this so at last I have some understanding (but I can’t talk about it).

Since 2009 I’ve awakened to my commitment to be a part of AAM’s team (there are many others). My commitment to serving him takes precedence over any other issues or commitments I have. So I assume the burden of and the need for confidentiality as part of my wish to serve him. And he serves us.

Moreover, I’m aware that I’m an eternal being. I don’t seek my reward in things this life can bestow. Every inheritance, every severance package I’ve been given has merely been spent on other people. I cannot think of what I would do with a million dollars save give it away. There really is not much I need and not much I want, except to serve.

So I know that, after this life is over, and I’m reunited with my Boss (AAM), my reward will be the look of satisfaction on his face and the love he bestows on me. You may say that that sounds corny, but I know it about myself as if it were a living reality.

Recently the Boss told us what it feels like (I can’t remember if this was in a public or private portion of an interview and whose interview it was) to receive sincere congratulations from Mother/Father God and how it impacts him. So he works for the same reasons. Just a different boss. The Big Boss.

He’s told me, and I know this about myself, that I’m not attached to what happens here – not to this blog, not to the discussion group, not to anything I’m associated with. I’m attached to serving. That attachment does not harm. There is one degree of the 360-degree compass that will not harm a person to travel and that degree is the one that leads to God. Krishna said:

“I am all that a man may desire
Without transgressing
The law of his nature.” (1)

I can desire, I can be attached to God. That will not harm me. That will serve me. But attachment to anything else, anything worldly, anything “not” of God (what is not of God?) will bind me.

So I don’t seek my reward from man, from society, from the world, etc. I do seek my reward from God. And that’s what allows me to even entertain taking on the strains and stresses of confidentiality.

So that’s all I can tell you about confidentiality. Past that and I’d have to see you don’t talk about it.

It’s stressful. It’s a strain. It leaves you unable to defend yourself, to reassure others, to do very much of anything. It may require you to cause others pain (disappointment, worry) on behalf of a greater good and you can’t discuss even that matter with others to get their buy-in or agreement.

I know that someday soon the need for confidentiality will be over. But I have one word of advice to anyone who reads this. Most of the Earth allies (and we are all Earth allies here) who are working on NESARA, Disclosure, Accountability and all the other areas that the dark opposes are sworn to confidentiality. For heaven’s sake, rise above the ego roles we assign ourselves in a group and play your part.

Don’t assail them. Don’t say they broke their promises until you know the full story (and you will). Have faith in them. Trust that they are doing their best. Trust that the situation today may very well have changed from what it was yesterday and that does not mean that the lightworkers have become venal or corrupt. It just means they have experienced a set-back on their road to serving you. It means that their adversaries, who are doing their best to see that lightworkers don’t succeed, have won a round. But they will lose eventually.

I now see that, though we’ve won the big battles against the Illuminati, they’re persistent and fight to the last minute. And the Company of Light doesn’t somehow kill them or disable them. They treat the dark with the same care that they treat us. To the all are One.

The dark are programmed (some of them) to obstruct, to rob, to maim, to do anything that will have them win. And the least we can do is to support those who are opposing them at great risk and give them the benefit of the doubt.

So I now have seen some of what goes on. I can’t talk about it. But if I had known then what I know now, I wouldn’t have thought of the Earth allies as wimps and incompetents. I would have realized what they’re up against.

Our bosses in higher places want us to do some of the heavy lifting. They want buy-in. They want some terrestrial heroes so that Earth can feel she did her share of this whole affair (even if our share is like a baby taking a baby step held up by the parent). They also obey the natural law and know that they cannot completely fight our battles for us. Freewill and karma are involved.

There are many reasons why they don’t, in all situations, simply sweep the dark from the board. But we for our part have to fill in the blanks as best we can and support those who are fighting in the trenches, without us having a clue about what’s going on or what they’re up against.

That’s all I can say. That’s all I want to say. For the rest … I can’t talk about it.

Footnotes

(1) Sri Krishna in BG, 71.

http://stevebeckow.com/2011/11/confidentially-speaking-i-cant-talk-about-it/