Embracing the Dark Side
After nights of dreams where I was witnessing torture, feeling myself inside the torturer, the victim and the torturer’s leader, this morning’s dream recall was of the more magical variety. I am appreciative of the torture dreams as I have spent the past few weeks deep in the darker underbelly of this duality, seeking to understand it so that I can bring all of it back to love. I read Alice Walker’s latest book: The Cushion in the Road: Meditation and Wandering As the Whole World Awakens To Being In Harm’s Way. It is a series of excerpts of her writing of the past few years as she witnesses many of the horrors that we, as the human race, have inflicted upon one another. My heart opened anew as I sought to understand how the human psyche could devise and enact such treatment of one another. As I explored this gruesome territory, seeking understanding of the deep wounding and disconnection that would allow any of us to engage in such acts, I came to see the seeds present within myself.
It is easy to discount such behavior as it is so far on the desperate end of the spectrum that we allow ourselves to turn our heads. I know that has been my way. There were vibrations that I did not allow, violence of any kind, horror, suspense. I have never been a news watcher nor a fan of much but Pollyanna type movies. Images are hard for me to remove which is why books are my medium. I like to create my own softer imagery.
Yet of late, I have read a sci fi series by Dan Simmons: Hyperion that my elder son suggested whose covers have gruesome images which would have been enough to put me off in the past. I am so glad that I went beyond the exterior to glean the jewels of understanding its pages offer, of this matrix we have been living in. By exploring the depths of depravity that we are capable of, I more fully understood the power of love that we hold. It has been an expansion that allows me fuller access to what it is to be human.
Duality on this planet is at its end. We are witnessing its collapse all about us. We came to be a part of this dismantling. We came to bring unity consciousness. We came to demonstrate the force that is love and how it can melt all back to its embrace. The question is how do we do this in our day to day lives?
We have been conditioned to be cruel judges of ourselves, meting out harsh punishments and judgments to our bodies, our pysches. We are trained to judge everything and everyone as good or bad, to rail against and fight for. We have no training in peace. In acceptance of what is without a need to judge it or categorize it. No training in love of this body which has its own consciousness and is here to serve us. Do we take the time to ask it what it wants? What would it like to wear this day, what would it like to eat in this moment, how would it like to move? Instead we are like generals giving orders, I am vegan, I only eat this, I am overweight so I must whip myself all day, movement only counts if it is in the form of an exercise routine. Even the word, routine is a clue…… can we remain present in a habitual routine? It makes us into robots, not allowing ourselves the freedom to be made anew each day. We have given up our role as explorers, discovering new things about ourselves each day. Yes, it takes more conscious awareness to open to what is present rather than default to a routine. It is also where the juice is, the aliveness, the joy.
We are moving from a black and white world to one of radiant color. To make this move, we have to begin within ourselves. All around are the clamors of war, pain, suffering, and calamity. Can we allow all that and go to a place where all is well? Trees are helpful for this, as is a flower, anything in nature can provide the path to peace. If we desire peace on earth, the end of strife, which I believe we all do, can we find that place inside of us? Try sitting and imagining that all is well. All your issues have been handled, your problems solved, your desires satisfied. You are free to feel joy. You know yourself as loved by all of creation. You know yourself as love. You are at peace. Breathe that in. Allow that feeling to wash over you like liquid lovelight. I bathe myself in it often as a reality check as the world impinges upon my being. This will do more for peace on earth than many outer activities. There is a place for action but what we were not told, was the power of our state of being. When our hearts are at peace, we discover the power that Gandhi harnessed by his nonviolence movement. That Martin Luther King spoke of in his I Have a Dream speech.
I feel that I have grown up in these past weeks as I allowed myself to stand in vibrations that formerly scared me. When I claim love as my truth, I know that all that is not that, melts in its path. By exploring the darker realms, I have welcomed back parts of myself that I sentenced to outer Siberia. My anger, my hardness, my desire to hurt in revenge…..I have thanked them for protecting me in the past. I have commuted their sentences and welcomed them back with a love bath. They are dissolving in that love and are so grateful to be called home.
It is time for us to be the peace. Shower yourself with this love and feel how it moves from you to all of our brothers and sisters in Syria and Egypt and Palestine and across the globe. We are one people. Every thought on my part, affects everyone. If I want to live in a peaceful world, I must come to know all is well in my world. So many of us are blessed with food and shelter, what we are told are our basic needs. Yet we often starve ourselves of love. Lovingkindness to oneself. Sit and allow that love to be present. When we know ourselves as love and our hearts as true, we can change this world. It is up to each of us to be that love and be that change that we so desire. Peace begins in your heart and mine. Be gentle and oh so tender with yourselves this day. I treat myself like a newborn, not minding the messy diapers and spit up and all the rest of being human…..it is a part of our glory. Embrace it all, embrace yourself. You are so beautiful and you are so loved. Let’s get on with creating this lovely world that we wish our children and grandchildren to live in. I begin today with my heart, with my gentle voice in my head, with allowing my body to choose her clothes and breakfast. I am radiating all is well. I am knowing myself as blessed. I am knowing myself as love incarnate. I am knowing your beauty. I am claiming mine.