I Choose To Stay

Every since I came here in January, I had a desire to leave this Universe. I cried and cried to be removed from this (WAS) god forsaken place. I throught I had found my exit, and, I was daily looking in the sky waiting on the ship to pick me up. I dreamed I tried to commit suicide and only wound up in a coma and that was worse than dealth to me. Thank Spirit for the dream.

Today, in this NOW MOMENT, I Love this place and wanna stay. My beautiful grandchildren (12, 11, 9, 6 and 10 months (OOPS my lil chocklatey grand babie is 7 months old), 4 boys 1 girl; I aint nobody but God/Goddess baby smile) are one of my greatest inspirations. When I think of leaving them, its very painful. I know that I will leave them one day, but, I must stay long enough for them to know LOVE, UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. They Loved me in spite of those things I was going thru. They loved me when others told them they should'nt.  How many times I was ready to give up and a hug or a kiss from one of them would give me hope, give me power to continue. They are my energizer bunnies.

I Love you Nana's "Poopeez". They call me Nana cause I explained to them who and what I AM, years ago. They laugh as I sing songs in Language and even know some of the songs I sing in language. Smile. One of my grandsons does what we call Kundilini (I need to learn the correvct term so he will know what he is doing) when he gets upset, and he's only 6.  He already reconizes his desire to be positive and  not negative. Imagine when he get older.

God/Goddess gifted me with them and I AM oh so grateful.  And, let me not forget my nieces and nephews, for, I AM Nahnah to them too. Yes, those little bitty people. They will LOVE you when you can't love yourself.

Love Nageeta