Jennifer Hoffman – What You Hear Depends On How You Listen – 23 July 2012
One thing I have stressed in many articles about Indigo and Crystal children is how important it is to communicate with them. And this extends beyond talking, it is actually more focused on listening and knowing what to listen to and for. As a rule, Indigos don’t talk much and don’t like to talk about themselves so what they do share becomes very important, especially when we’re dealing with children who are depressed, using drugs, looking for their life path or are at risk. It can be very easy to assume that because they don’t talk they don’t have anything to say or don’t want to talk to us but that’s not true, we just need new listening skills.
I remember listening to conversations between my children and their friends and although they never seemed to say much to each other, what little they did say appeared to have a big impact. When I asked my son about it, he said ‘Mom, I know what he wants to say.’ So, what do your children want to say that they don’t have the words for? In my experience, the call frequency says a lot. If I hear from them more than once a week, there’s a problem and I ask about what’s going on in their life instead of waiting for them to get around to telling me. If they talk about how upset they are with world events, I ask what’s upset them recently. And if they ask about me a lot, they miss me and need some mothering.
It is a kind of proactive communication that takes more work but it addresses issues before they become problems. If you wait for your Indigo (orCrystal) child to tell you what’s going on with them, you are in for a frustrating process. They may tell you that they’re fine but if you really listen, you may hear their fear and frustration and can address that. They may ignore you if you ask them to get a job but if you listen to other things they say, not related to that topic, they may answer your question.
Indigos take their time to ‘grow up’, find their path and become comfortable with themselves. We cannot expect them to be like we were at their age because they are not. Many don’t marry until they are in their 30s and their 20s can be very difficult period of trying to find their way. Instead of being married and starting a family in their 20s (as many of us were), many still live at home and are trying to figure out how to become an adult, how to get there, and what to do once they get there. Becoming an active listener helps them communicate with you more effectively and communication is not one of their better skills. Parenting Indigos requires more than providing food, clothes and shelter, we are their guides and teachers and need to use our gifts to help them find and connect with theirs. So listen beyond the words and silence and you may hear a lot, which can help you make a difference in their lives.
Copyright (c) 2012 by Jennifer Hoffman. All rights reserved. You may quote, copy or translate this article in its entirety as long as you include the author’s name and a working link back to this website. www.enlightinglife.com link to original article
Comments
Thank You
Thank you for writing this article, It is helpful in more ways than I am sure that you intended. I am an Indigo, and my mom (who has passed) never dis-couraged some of the things I would say and do as a child, that were beyond what a normal child would say regarding events or near miss accidents, I did find out however when I was older that I kept here in tears with some of things I would say. I used to tell her God said if I didn't like it here I could come back, and I would tell her I picked them as my parents, this was around 3 or 4. I insisted my middle name be legally changed at the age of 3 I stopped talking until it was done, I don't know why til this day, why I would have done that, so they went to the lawyer and had it changed. I remember in 2nd grade I had to be picked up at school, I claimed I was sick, on the way home we were almost in an accident with a car on our side of the rode and no where to pull off on either side the inbankment on each side was severly steep about 1/2 mile from our home, her friend was driving, she was in the passenger seat and I was in her lap, we had no choice to swerve off the road, somehow we didn't flip and the car climed right back up the hill atleast a 55degree angle drop off, I immediately turned to her and told her if I hadn't been in here, you would have died. I don't know why, or what would prompt me to say such a thing, she never questioned it, there were other odd incidences as well. I guess as life does most of us, I soon forgot those aspects of myself, but having heard her speak of them growing up, it committed them to my memory, I know I picked her because she was the perfect mother for a child that would be different, and not always agreeing with my head-strong nature, she never detered me from being who I was meant to be, and she taught me things, that I thought other parents would not even bother with, because they were so detailed, and annoying at the time. Now since I have began to awaken, I see everysingle thing that she taught me down to details that no one could imagine a mom taking the time to prepare you, she did and did it effortlessly. I can't wait until the veil has dissolved so I can tell her Thank You, for things that I never even imagined I should have thanked her for.
This article pays omage to the parents of the indigos that are doing thier jobs even though they don't remember at the time what for. And it provides the parents of the other indigos and crystal children, insight to understand what an important task they have being the parent of a child that is so vastly different from themselves. I think you did an amazing job relating the importance of communication and nurturing the needs that one might not even be aware that they exist.
And for that I wanted to say Thank You!
Sincerely,
Terry
Listen to your children
Thank you for reminding us about how very special these children are! I have been blessed with 2 crystal children and 2 indigo grandchildren. As my first born came into this world as a warrior child, there has never been a dull moment! I have found that in raising my children, a lot of love, boundries and protection was needed to keep them safe as they barreled thru life in their teens and twenties. I made sure that they knew they were Loved, always Loved. It is so very important to teach them unconditional LOVE and for them to understand, that while you may not like what they did, they are always loved.
When I lost my twin flame, my granddaughter was 6. They had became very close during life and he had even asked her if it would be ok with her if he was my "boyfriend". After his death, one evening while we were driving, she began telling me that her uncle saw ghosts. As she continued to talk, she finally said "Nana, I see ghosts too". I asked her where she saw ghosts and she said she saw my twin flame in the back seat....I almost drove off the road as the tears suddenly sprung into my eyes. This was the beginning of her understanding that she indeed has a Guardian Angel who will always be with her. She continues to see him walking beside her school bus....
We have much to teach these beautiful children, but they have so much to teach us as well.
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