Lisa Gawlas ~ The Last Of The Muck Coming Up! ~ 19 February 2012
It seems, since the moment my rock man Jorge came to shake me awake, I have been deep within my own processes… ummm… gunk ever since. For the last couple days I have been flipping between just crying (yes those sad tears) and then moving into a place of melancholy until the next wave of tears came.
Those fears and worries laying deep at my ocean floor, completely disturbed and moved up to the surface!
Funny how we don’t notice the sediment at the bottom. Those tiny specks that fell to the bottom of the emotional ocean thru all the clearings.
Yesterday within me was the most intense, I suppose. My own energy field must have been pinging to beat the band, my computer kept completely turning off. Finally, I checked the plug to see if something was the matter, it was so freakin hot. I decided, not going near the computer for the day. I took myself to the couch, put on Netflix, picked up solitare on my phone… and purged for the entire day (well, after my appointments of course…smile.)
Swallowing or ignoring those pesky fears simply create a thick sediment on our ocean floors… and for as long as there is sediment, there will be something in our lives to stir it up… for me, I suppose that is both February as well as Jorge!
I have got to smile at my own crazy inner processes… I am starting to recognize when I am making a major break thru within myself, I start thinking about leaving the earth and going back Home. Happy to have been here, happy to leave here!
I even broke down and got out my pendulum… I haven’t done that since the first couple of days I moved into this new place. I suppose I just wanted a visable way for Arch Angel to hold my hand, and the pendulum does that for me. Of course, then I just wanted to kick him in his energetic hand! He kept saying: “Live in the present and I always have your back.” blah blah blah.
I suppose the day before gave way to the flood of yesterday within myself. My sister sent me a facebook message that she has developed a new tumor in her body as well as a node in her lung.
Granted, I am not close to any of my siblings, haven’t been since I was 8 years old, but something about her news triggered the child within. Then the adult had to ask, what the hell am I doing?
I am so far away from my blood family, kids included. I have, for all intense and purposes, taken myself completely out of my old life to live a new. Pissing off a lot of people that I love deeply. My spirit took me back to the first couple months of realizing the depth of who we are thru my bathtub meditations. Reminding me of what fueled my fire, my journey to here… I wanted to help humanity know… 11 years later, it is no longer just a burning desire, it’s a freakin volcano oozing lava lol.
I took a meditation shortly after spirit reminding me why I am doing what I am doing… (and I surely don’t even know what that is!! lol) and I pretty much cried in my tub. And then, out of the pure light… Sananda showed up. I have not had any aspect of my “team” individuate themselves in my meditation god, many years now. So to say I was suprised would be an understatement.
He was carring this… clothe thingie that glowed of amazing white light. I swear it reminding me of receiving the sacraments in Catholic Church. He placed this clothe thing down on the corner of my bathtub, there must have been a bowl or something on it that I couldn’t see thru the radiance of the white light and he dipped his energetic finger in it, then made a plus sign on my forehead.
Of course, my catholic rebelion moved straight up to the surface and I asked him why are you doing that… I don’t want the sign of your pain and suffering on my forehead. He said I did not make that kind of cross on you, he told me to think “southern cross and as above, so below.”
He then put my brow chakra into a clockwise spin and was gone. Funny how my ow gunk was there even in that baffling moment… I was so pissed off for believing the catholic religion when I started to really learn the truth. I was really pissed at me for believing something so blindly…
I have made my choices and will live with them. 99% of the time, it is a great energy within me… that freakin sediment tho… there is always a foot to kick it up… and it swirls around to be delt with. Dammit!
There is only one way I deal with my gunk… that is deep within myself. Please forgive me if I cannot deal with your gunk too at the same time. I have so many emails laying in my in-box… we are all going thru this moment in time.
Funny, I had written about the February 15 dateline many many times… the releasing of all the ego gunk… well, I have been waist deep in mine. I never even got the connection until today when I awoke. Dah!!
I did listen to Arch Angel Michael tho… When I was out in tomorrows moment worrying about bills, I brought myself back to the couch, to netflix and my game of solitaire. When I was thinking of yesterday, my sister, my parents, my own children… I brought myself back to the couch and anchored.
It really is amazing what clarity you can receive when you are not running amuck!
My core issue came zooming to the surface in an instant… not the fragments but the truth now staring me straight in the heart. Failure. Dammit!
Of course, the masked illusion comes from the fragments spinning in my brain: failure to pay my bills, failure to get my son talking to me again, failure to help my sister… that’s all particle from past and future… what is really happening in my present.
I don’t know how to plant seeds! Not mass seeds. To plop one seed in the ground today, then another tomorrow… really does throw everything off balance. If you ever have done any gardening, you can understand this. To put one seed in the ground each day, you would still be planting at harvest time.
There is a preciousness to staring your fear in the eyes. It really makes you reach deep inside of yourself and pull from your strength.
I brought a rich and diverse skill-set to this place. I have been groomed by the universe to be here… ready to put on my farmer Lisa clothes!
How did I forget about hypnosis? Hell, I have had the book “Mass Dreams of the Future” (written by Chet B. Snow) in my mind for a couple weeks. It is a book of hynosis experiences of clients he took into future potentials.
I thrive in group hypnosis. Especially taking the group back Home to Spirit. The experiences, information, transformations people come back with… changes me!
Once I let go… I got my new working orders (well, not orders, but insperation.) Group hypnosis via skype. I will be putting the page together later today on my site with full details and dates. it will be on: www.mysoulcenter.com/seedsofshambhala.html
It is amazing how freeing life is when you look at your greatest fear and kiss it back into Heaven!!
I love you all soooooooo much! Thank you for holding my hand and my heart thru this massive transformation that is tilling the soil of life from the heart out into created matter! The field is ready and so are We!!!
((((HUGZ))))
Lisa Gawlas
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