Sunday – October 21, 2012
I feel like I’ve awakened from decades of hibernation to find that my absence has been perceived as neglect. I am reaping a great deal of Karma which I am transmuting. It feels awful. Today is one of those days in which my main priority is calling on the violet flame. I feel like I’m in a wobble, trying to find my center as I wait for things to level off, although, that feels a long way away. Also, I’m calling to see the Divine Perfection, Goodwill and Alignment in all things. This is a tremendous help. I know that things are going to level off. I can feel it. I just have to wait until the energy clears.
My mother has been a storm, testing my responses. I must say that I am impressed with my resolve in calling on seeing her perfection. This act is allowing me to focus positively. I am also surprised by my response to the possibility of losing access to my computer. It seems that the light on the screen is dying so I can’t see what I’m doing, but the hard drive is functioning. I’ve stepped right into working on other projects… things from which my computer activities distracted me. I’m accepting the loss of my computer as Divine Intervention. I still have access to computers at the library. This is a good alternative.
The Mp3 message for this week is both wonderful and challenging. There were three images that came to me during the meditation. For the Golden Flame, I was an Australian shaman sitting topless in front of a golden fire; for the Blue Flame, I was a priestess in front of a blue fire in a blue temple, wearing a beautiful metallic baby blue robe; and for the Platinum Flame, I was a being in space, holding the flame against the stars wearing a silver metallic robe. Awesome!
Monday – October 22, 2012
I’ve begun reading the book, The Four Agreements, for a women’s group that will meet on Wednesday. I find that I am not merely reading this book, I’m absorbing it. It is the perfect complement to the Rites of Passage. I am discovering all sorts of agreements not to express myself that I have made both with myself and my mother. I’ve made these agreements with others as well. I’m feeling more and more liberated.
The library computers are off limits today. Seems the router is out of commission. I can’t get on line.
Tuesday – October 23, 2012
One of the things that I found comforting about the message for this week is that Divine Intuition is a knowing, not psychic abilities. I feel surer about a lot of things, especially the agreements I’ve made and now know I can break. I feel more certain about self-expression and throwing away the rule book that I wrote for myself which greatly dishonors who I am on all levels. I’m really excited about this discovery.
Also, I feel less of a need to impose rules on others, especially the kids I tutor and my niece and nephews. I’m more curious about what they think and how they want to accomplish their tasks. I’m still strict with them, but less guarded. I want them to enjoy themselves.
I’ve picked up an old novel that I started about 18 months ago. It began as a scenario, but I put it down, thinking that it wasn’t “high and mighty” enough for spiritual beings. All of the reasons for putting the book away came from my rule book of personal dishonor, which I am quickly learning to disregard. I want to complete the novel now.
Wednesday – October 24, 2012
At the women’s group, I wanted to share my insights about The Four Agreements, but I wasn’t sure that there would be enough time because of other things on the agenda. I’ve been uncomfortable in the women’s group since it began because so much of what was discussed did not seem to apply to me as I had left so much of myself unexpressed throughout my life, but tonight was different. I had actually read the featured book and I had seven pages of notes. I was ready.
What I found interesting was that my comfort level was pretty high. I knew I was ready. I focused on everything in search of divine perfection even though there seemed to be a little tension between some of the women. We had a great time. One of the ladies is a master at sewing and knitting. She wants to teach us and I want to learn.
I want to say a little more about this focusing upon perfection. I’m getting better at it. Calling upon divine perfection from everything at a subatomic level is AWESOME! It feels so empowering, but what’s even better is seeing, witnessing, the transmutation. Whoa! That’s nice. I feel so much better about facing my fears.
Thursday – October 25, 2012
Last night, during my meditation, I became the flames. They jumped out of my head and into my entire body. I was in awe.
My scenario from last week has returned. Can you believe it? I’ve been using the violet flame on it, but it doesn’t seem to want to go away and I don’t seem to want to write it down. I just like having it in my head. It’s such a loving scenario. Maybe it’s just supposed to be a companion for me.
I was walking home from the library, thinking of the emerald flame, looking at the green grass. (It’s late October and we still have green grass – go figure.) I just sort of felt the grass. It was amazing.
My student met me before I reached home from the library. She wanted to inform me that her brother had decided not to come to tutoring. He didn’t want to do the amount of work that he knew he was supposed to do. I went and had a talk with his mother who understood from her son that he didn’t have any homework.
I was surprised at how calm and compassionate I felt. I seem to feel this way most of the time now. In fact, another neighbor told me later that there was a pack of pit bull dogs running loose in the neighborhood and that she had had to run from them. I’ve seen lots of dogs lose in the neighborhood, mostly alone, but also in packs. Her story did not raise concerns for my safety. Later that night, my niece, the mother of the little ones, called me out to come to her car because she had seen the pack of dogs up the street. I was curious.
As I brought the card out to my niece that she wanted, she saw the dogs coming and began to panic. I admit that enough of her panic rubbed off on me to cause me to move back toward the house, but what I saw was what I suspected. The dogs had no interest in us. They had their own agenda. There was no real need to fear them. I asked Arch Angel Michael to protect us all so that humans and dogs respected each other. In essence, I felt connected.
Summary
I apologize for ending this report so abruptly. I’m typing this at the library on Monday, October 29, 2012. I can’t remember what else I wanted to say, and also, I have to get home to my students. I feel really good about my growth from last week’s Rite. I’m just very excited. Saturday, I got the sneak-peak of this week’s Rite of Divine Love and just said, “I’m ready. I’ve been waiting for this because I’m finally going to understand giving. I’ve been so selfish about giving, especially giving of myself. My beliefs in lack have been intrinsic and I’m ready to replace those beliefs with abundance and generosity no matter how uncomfortable it gets. Time’s up for the old ways.
