Triggered by An Emotional Storm

lovelylinda's picture

 

Posted on December 5, 2013

My son painted this as a gift for me. Embedded within is my path home. We assist one another in ways seen and unseen.

I have to laugh at the way tests come when we proclaim ourselves at peace. “Really?” asks our higher self, let’s try this out. Last night, our family went through an emotional storm. I was the target and I was triggered. I felt the flash of anger, the heartache of the mother, the heat of uncomfortableness of not knowing how to move, the sitting with the pain. In the aftermath, I allowed myself space to state my need to go to my room and have a good cry. What a release tears are. I was grateful for those of us who trusted our love enough, to stay present, to cook and eat a meal together in the aftermath of the storm. I honored another’s need to leave, to regroup in order to come to balance.

Whew. I am feeling a bit fragile and tender this morning. “An emotional hangover”, as my former partner stated. Knowing all is well, that at times there has to be the separation or break for a new way of coming together to be found. Honoring each of us for speaking our truth and listening to one another’s hearts. Gratitude for the way we are walking each other home.

Uncovering my flowers to see how they fared in the freezing temperatures, just as we are taking stock this morning of our hearts. How did they fare the storm of last night?

Uncovering my flowers to see how they fared in the freezing temperatures, just as we are taking stock this morning of our hearts. How did they fare after the storm of last night?

I am grateful for not collapsing in the old way, of not accepting another’s interpretation or judgment of my path over my own knowing, of feeling my truth and allowing it to come out raw and unfiltered. This is growth, to accept my truth while honoring another’s and allowing the distance between. To allow anger without feeling shame for expressing it, (Oh, that is a big one.) To witness the old momentary desire to run and choose to stay.  I realize that it has been a long time since I have been in such a storm. It was an opportunity to practice opening to embrace the experience with love rather than closing off and burying any part of it in my heart. I watched the child in me desire to lash out and knew the grace of taking her hand in support. There was a new dynamic as my former partner stood in support of me. That felt good and true. A sturdy bridge we have built between us in this space together.

I sit here looking at my mother’s heart that desires to see everyone “comfortable”, to place a soft blanket around each one. This has caused me trouble and heartache as I created dependencies that then have to be severed. I also see the mother flame that wields a sword of truth dispassionately, cleaving falseness aside, knowing the fallout will land about her. The mother bird who kicks the fledgling out of the nest, trusting it will spread its wings and fly…..holding her breath yet allowing the crash if it is to be. Always the love there, knowing it has many shades. Trusting myself to be the shade needed in the moment, regardless of the cost. Knowing full well, it can cost everything, yet to be out of integrity is too high a price. Peace at any cost is not peace. Love without truth, is but a shadow play.

New landscape to walk upon....Gabriel's art carrying the new codes and seeds of love.

New landscape to walk upon….Gabriel’s art carrying the new codes and seeds of love.

We are all coming into balance within our beings as our Mother Earth leads the way. The earthquakes and storms are as necessary as the gentle breezes and strong rays of sunlight. It is all good. There is an opening created by the upheaval that we can all move in. It is new ground, freshly excavated by exposing our hearts’ truths. It is fertile soil for new plantings of love’s blooms. New colors and scents to be had. I sit staring at the flames in the hearth on this frosty morning, knowing the power of love to melt all into truth and beauty. Trusting each of our souls to move onto this new ground in our own way and time. Trusting our I AM presences to light our paths. Honoring the holiness of each one.

Artwork for purchase at gaberobertsart.com/

This entry was posted in http: http://liquidlovelight. com by lovelylinda

 

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