DEEPLY AWAKE – NEUTRALITY

It has been quite awhile since I have had words enough to spare in the act of writing. My thoughts, concepts, and my reality have all been somewhat misshapen, to a degree, as if a baby giraffe is wriggling under the wrapping paper I placed her in months ago. Odd, subtly miasmic, obvious in its symbology.

It's been fun playing with symbols lately. I am not able to look at digital clocks without seeing symbology, messages. I know that the psychiatric community might mislabel this “ideas of reference.” They are an imaginative and creative bunch.

Now, though, something else is happening.

I have perceived myself to have been in the bottleneck for some time now, maybe since Thanksgiving did I start to make this shift.

Thanksgiving was the first time I had a sustained conscious altered state. It lasted the day and into the night. It was sainted. It was holy. I was glowing. It was a day among days.

Christmas Eve ranks high, too. That moment when I saw, felt, knew this reality for the stuff it is. I perceived, somehow, in a way that I yearn to know constantly the density and vibrancy and aliveness of this reality, this focus. Becoming aware of it was a place so divinely clear, so perfectly and utterly benevolent, so breathtakingly joyous.

Holy crap.

These have been coming on with less intensity but more frequency lately.

I want to share two weird things that have altered me, or maybe I altered them.

First, the neighbor I give shots to for her disease, been doing that for years and years. Just after Christmas my car died, and I was canceled, and things are slim financially right now. My ex got the towing done for free, but the car will be $900 to fix. I won't have that money until Friday.

Money is a touchy subject in the spiritual realm, and a lot of folks are quick to judge that anyone bringing the subject to the forefront, are subject to suspicion.  So be it that is their journey.

On the other hand there are those who have an interest in it because want or need more.  The point may be brought up that you don't really need anything to be happy, except Love.  Well, that's true enough, so how about the word "desire".  

Why desire money though?  I would guess it would be because money is an energy that can raise yours.  Assuming of course, that the inner work is attended to first.  Or maybe not.  Perhaps a person has been too attentive to survival and all their waking energies are directed to that end.  Regardless of any particular person's reason for money, its an energy very few can do without.

The amount one has or one is expected to get, has a certain definition of the quality of life one can enjoy.  I think that most of us could agree that the plus side is more favorable that the alternative.  The extremes of balance go a long ways in both direction towards rich or poor.  Personally, I've never experienced either end of the spectrum for any duration.  Sure, I've been "broke" at times but never destituted.  I've even felt "rich" at times having in my personal possesionalmost ten grand when I sold my house back in the eighties...  lol