Yesterday was different for me. I questioned my sanity, I mean really questioned it.
I knew in my Heart that even though the world said I was just a speck of lint, the Universe said something different. An, when one realizes some of the heights of the Heart and Soul, it is a little unbelieveable.
Yesterday I was reluctant to talk cause I might say something dynamic or profound which, is normal and yet not normal for me. Most of the things I say, I AM used to saying them only to myself, for, who was there to listen must less believe but myself.
I went on one of my "it dont matter" binge eating sessions. But, this time, I did not feel hopeless. I actually felt vindicated. I felt free, just, I guess, self inflected injuring myself. It felt good to eat those cookies, it really did. Even though I should not have done it, I did not beat me up as usual for doing it.
I also began to question this place. My ego said, "Nageeta you dont know them, they may be full of it, just stroking your ego, you just that little ball of link, remember??? This is serious for you and play play for them. Your back in a cult girlie." THANK SPIRIT ALL THAT IS/WAS AN ILLUSION. Gongolay.
It was even hard to sit and talk to my Twin Flame, I actually did not see him in the chair, just an empty chair. More cookies.
hehehe I can laugh at this because I see myself growing up. Yes, little Nageeta was very much in "rare form "yesterday. hehehe. This morning, she has once again taken her place in back of the ship, sleeping soundly, sick of cookies for a while. When she is being nice and quiet, I allow her to sit and listen. She needs to take a long nap. hehehe
