DEEPLY AWAKE – CHAOS, IN THEORY
I have moments, peak experiences, and try to send postcards from there. I was silent yesterday, within and without. I felt a flatness, a hollowness and a strange emptiness. Not the sort of emptiness associated with depression or obsessive love. This was weird. Flat and barren and blighted and not yet ready for seedlings. It was a harsh energy.
My son asked for his nightly blessing, which is really never anything but an opportunity for our guides to give us words of encouragement for the coming night and day. Last night I told him I couldn’t bless anything. I was feeling odd. He said, “That's ok, Mom. Just say a prayer, then.”
So I did. For both of us. I prayed for release from the disappointment I feel at times, that things are still hard and scary sometimes, and I can't seem to feel any peace sometimes.
I went to bed and read Kryon. Then I cried myself to sleep.
Kryon's work is strangely mechanistic in its quantum-ness, strangely satisfying. His work speaks to an old part of me. But there is no talk of ascension, no talk of a definitive, transfigurative moment, ascension. He spoke instead about 18 years more of this shift.
Eighteen more years here.