My lower chakras, which I intentionally shut down many years ago, are awakening. I apologize for it happening on screen. When I began reciting the poem from so long ago, I had forgotten how it ended. You all had the not-so-wondrous opportunity of seeing me clear out sorrow right there in front of you.
I was married twice in this lifetime - both were very unusual marriages - and then I met my son's father and we never intended to marry, and didn't. And as soon as my son was conceived, I began shutting down the lower chakras and went through menopause so early that my own doctor did not believe me. Then when my mother died of ovarian cancer and I saw what she went through and how LONG it took, I insisted on a hysterectomy. So I am "spayed." LOL
The poem was true, I actually DID fall in love at the age of three with a skinny accordion player I saw on TV!!! I used to kiss the tv screen whenever he appeared and I adored him. It was on the Lawrence Welk show, anybody here remember that? And then I kept falling in love with people who didn't love me, and that was awful, so once I had my son I thought I was done with it. I decided not to fall in love anymore. And that was what came up when I recited that poem on-screen, I realized that I had made that decision, and it didn't resonate with what I am feeling at these wonderful LOVE parties. Especially now that I am aware of it.
I AM, of course, in LOVE with you all now, but so longing to be with my twin flame! I am mourning whatever I did that has kept us apart for so long and I am crying. I thought I saw him, I thought we were communicating telepathically, and then I remembered that poem and realized what I had done. I had decided at a very young age not to "fall in love" anymore. I think I was about thirteen at the time. I didn't mean not to LOVE, but that man-woman thing was just too intense.
